How very snug and nautical
We ride upon the Thames [Note 279.0]
The sun is shining brightly
No mizzling(1) pertends;
The wherry¹'s are a cutting
And bounding in the sight
On Sunday everybody likes
To do the thing wots' right
Dame Nature is a wonder,
Strange Wherrys cut about
Swell chaps comes up to ax us
Does your mother know you're out [Note 279.1]
As large as any mansion
Now the steamers seem to float [Note 279.2]
How proud must be our waterman
Of such a nobby¹ boat
How proud must be our waterman
Tho' he looks queer today
Of six good looking customers
And every one sure to pay; [Note 279.3]
Who gaffed(1) with him and lost,
Full quite as much and more,
As the goo(1) of rum which we shall have,
As soon as we're on shore
I would I was a waterman
No higher rank to mount,
To come out after seven years,
Upon my own acconnt (sic) [Note 279.4]
I'd shout to them 'ere steamers
Vots blowing such a cloud,
One day such nuisances as yours,
Old cock, won't be allowed
Our waterman turned queerer
As near Limehouse we drew [Note 279.5]
He winked at two or three of us
And then his nose he blew;
He squinted at the weather,
And then his head recline'd,
And then he twigged¹ the steamer
That was bearing down behind.
He shook just like an aspen leaf [Note 279.6]
He was regularly shied(1)
In fact he was so cut up
That baby like, he cried;
Distorted was his visage
Hard he drew his breath,
And he looked just like a pig in fits
All on the pint (sic) of death
That instant such a sweller came
That set us all afloat,
We missed our nobby¹ waterman,
He was not in the boat;
We heard a horrid splashing
Saw nothing, so help me, bob,
But the hat and vig, vich I could swear
I'd seen upon his nob(1)
All day we dragged the river
Till our strength was quite reduc'd
Next afternoon without him
We toddled home to roost;
And never from that Sunday,
No one never did pretend,
To say they saw the waterman
Vot row'd us down the Thames. [Note 279.7]