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Bargery Number 300
Music (Given or Suggested) Monologue
Author Anonymous
Composer n/a
Source of Text Make'Em Laugh Website http://www.monologues.co.uk/Railroad_Tales/Onward.htm
Roud Not in the Roud Index
Parsed Title Onward ~ A Tale of the S.E. Railway
First Line No doubt you've 'eard the tale, sir. Thanks,--'arf o' stout and mild.
Source of Music n/a
Comments on Song This is probably a parody of 'In The Signal Box'
Source Title Onward ~ A Tale of the S.E. Railway

Onward ~ A Tale of the S.E. Railway

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A Signalman does his duty and puts his daughter's life in danger.

No doubt you've 'eard the tale, sir. Thanks,--'arf o' stout and mild.
Of the man who did his dooty, though it might have killed his child.
He was only a railway porter, yet he earned undy'n' fame.
Well!--Mine's a similar story, though the end ain't quite the same.

I were pointsman¹ on the South Eastern, with an only child--a girl
As got switched to a houtside porter, though fit to 'ave married a pearl.
With a back as straight as a tunnel, and lovely carrotty 'air,
She used to bring me my dinner, sir, and couldn't she take her share!--

One day she strayed on the metals, and fell asleep on the track;
I didn't 'appen to miss her, sir, or I should ha' called her back.
She'd gone quite out of earshot, and I daresen't leave my post,
For the lightnin' express was comin', but four hours late at the most!

'Ave you ever seen the "lightnin'" thunder through New Cross?
Fourteen miles an hour, sir, with stoppages, of course.
And just in the track of the monster was where my darling slept.
I could hear the rattle already, as nearer the monster crept!

I might turn the train on the sidin', but I glanced at the loop line and saw
That right on the outer metals was lyin' a bundle of straw;
And right in the track of the "lightnin'" was where my darlin' laid,
But the loop line 'ud smash up the engine, and there'd be no dividend paid

I thought of the awful disaster, of the blood and the coroner's 'quest;
Of the verdict, "No blame to the pointsman, he did it all for the best!"
And I thought of the compensation the Co. would 'ave to pay
If I turned the train on the sidin' where the 'eap of stubble lay.

So I switched her off on the main, sir, and she thundered by like a snail,
And I didn't recover my senses till I'd drunk 'arf a gallon¹ o' ale.
For though only a common pointsman, I've a father's feelings, too,
So I sank down in a faint, sir, as my Polly was 'id from view.

And now comes the strangest part, sir, my Polly was roused by the sound.
You think she escaped the engine by lyin' flat on the ground?
No! always a good 'un to run, sir, by jove she must 'ave flown,
For she raced the "lightnin' express," sir, till the engine was puffed and blown!!!

When next you see the boss, sir, tell him o' what I did,
How I nobly done my dooty, though it might a killed my kid;
And you may, if you like, spare a trifle for the agony I endured,
When I thought that my Polly was killed, sir, and I 'adn't got her insured!

3 across Articles in this Category: click a link

Absent Minded Ganger

bar566: Dates 1899~1900|

Complaint about a ganger who works his men dangerously hard.

Economies With Lights

bar102: Dates ----~1882|

Sardonic complaint about the dangerous lack of lights on locomotives.

High Shields Goods Yard Lights

bar569: Dates 1900~1900|

Complaint about the dangerous lack of rail yard lighting.

Shunting Pole Inspector

bar225: Dates 1898~1898|

A group of shunters celebrate the absence of their shunting pole inspector and regret his return after only one week.

More Work for the Undertaker

bar252: Dates ----~1895|

Includes a verse in which a shunter is killed by an engine.

Old Wylie's Stone

bar291: Dates ----~1878|

Poem ~ A track worker is killed by a train

Onward ~ A Tale of the S.E. Railway

bar300: Dates ----~----|

A Signalman does his duty and puts his daughter's life in danger.

Parting, The

bar579: Dates ----~1898|

Marking the separation of two track maintenance workers after 30 years of friendship.

Jim's Whistle

bar687: Dates 1862~1877|

A deaf and dumb track worker is killed by a train.

Pointsman's Story

bar723: Dates ----~----|

Tall-tale of disaster averted.

Duncan Weir

bar690: Dates 1862~1877|

A track worker is killed by a train running on the wrong line.

Bill's Length

bar693: Dates 1862~1877|

A track worker is killed by a train driven by his brother.

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