Johnny, he was "something_in_the_city¹",
On his seaside holidays was he;
And he met a maiden young and pretty,
One day on a steamer on the sea.
Such a blessed awful gale was blowing,
And the maiden was so terrified;
Johnny winked a wink so very knowing,
Then to soothe the little pet he tried!
Chorus: Johnny met her on a steamer!
Johnny met her in a squall;
But now he wishes
She was down among the fishes,
For he's sorry that they ever met at all!
Johnny tried his level best to soothe her,
Then a big wave made the vessel kick;
If he hadn't grabbed her dress_improver¹,
She'd have done a disappearing trick!
When he heard the angry billows snarling,
Johnny felt just like a lion caged;
He said, "let's go into the cabin darling"
But the maid was otherwise engaged!
When on shore once more, they all were landed,
Johnny very soon was "landed" too
By a fellow rough and horny-handed
Who said "What's my missis doing with you?"
Johnny very soon a "bunch_of_fives¹" was kissing;
Sev'ral thousand million stars he saw:-
When he woke, his watch and cash were missing,
And he'd found a dislocated jaw!