A Porter moved to Wales has difficulties with the language
I am a railway porter, as you'll notice by my dress
I'm English too and have been since my birth.
I used to be at Liverpool a little village near to Goole
But now they've shifted me right off the earth.
I'm a porter at a station now called Llan-fech-finn-genn-neck
The language here would dislocate your chin.
And since I've no idea of Welsh, it nearly breaks my neck
When I have to shout as all the trains come in….
All change for Llanfairfechan, Llanwrst, Llandaff and Brecon
Llandillo and Llandudno, the language is so strange
All change for Llanglamorgan It strains my vocal organ
Llan-am-march and Llang-a-mock and Llang-a-neff and Llang-a-dock
And Llan-what-else-you-like, All change.
The first day I took on this job I had an awful time
My word the funny things I heard and saw.
I called out names made such a din they had to call the Doctor in
I got a compound fracture of the jaw.
I'm much more used to it by now, it doesn't hurt me much,
To passengers such fairy tales I tell
If I forget a Welsh name I just speak in double dutch
Somehow that seems to answer just as well.
All change for Llanfairfecahn, Llanwrst, Llandaff and Brecon
Llandillo and Llandudno, the language is so strange
All change for Llanglamorgan It strains my vocal organ
Llan-am-march and Llang-a-mock and Llang-a-neff and Llang-a-dock
And Llan-what-else-you-like, All change