I am a poor Connaught man from the town of Athlone'
I wish in my heart that I never left home,
I came to Dublin to meet with my friends,
I met with a young lady quite near to the Sun Inn,
She says my dear sir, your are going astray,
And if you come with me I'll show you the way,
She brought me to Kingstown and carried my coat,
And gallop'd like thunder along the steam coach.
We went into a tavern and called for some wine,
She told the innkeeper she was a cousin of mine,
I got her dinner strong punch galore,
So she says cousin Jack it is time to go home,
We went in the steam coach without more delay,
We galloped like thunder to Dublin straigt (sic)way,
She called for a car lest her feet she would wet,
She brought myself my coach in to Sweet Barack-s[treet?]
The jaunting car boy he charged me half-a-crown,
I paid him the same then before I got down
She brought me to a room at the sign of the crow,
Where my cousins came in and one did I know,
Not one that came in but shook hands with poor Jack,
At twelve in the night when the landlord came down,
For the Reckoning, kind sir, you will pay me one pound.
I paid him the reckoning without more delay,
And off to Wood-lane they brought me straight way,
She called for a bed and lay down by my side,
A poor Connaught man had this beautiful bride,
They blackened and my face when I was asleep,
And before the daylight threw me into the street,
I bowled all sorts of murder for my money and clothes,
So the police came up your (sic) drunk we suppose,
They brought me to the station without more delay,
And locked me up in a cell my prayers for to say,
Ahey (sic) put me in the black coach where I cried my fill.
And put me to gallop all on they (sic) thread mill.
I had forty-five guineas I stole from my auut (sic),
I'll make you all laugh when you hear of my jaunt,
Not a fiddler or Piper could play at the fair.
Would make me to dance as the (sic) made me dance ere (sic)
When they let me out I ran home to Athlone,
To kiss my old Mother, that I left at home.
My curse on that lady, steam Coach and thread-mill,
Where I'll never go for my cousin's again.
So now to conclude and finish the joke,
They made me round the rack 'till my poor Shins were broke,
Te a sup o their skilly I scalded my nose,
So a poor Connaught man lost his money and clothes.