Comic song about inedibility of the railway station sandwich.

 [342Notation]

I'll introduce a friend of mine, a friend I've known for years
A warrior whose history would move a cat to tears
AS piece of meat between some bread, defying mastication;
A sandwich that for years has been on the bar at a railway station

Only an outcast alone in the world
A target for very band language
For years, and years, and years he's been
A Railway station sandwich

Each time I lift the lid he speaks a language very strong,
And starts to "hum¹"! In fact at time he'll burst forth into song.
A railway traveller bit him once - this sandwich armour plated;
He took a bite and died that night, with his jaw dislocated.

Only an outcast alone in the world
A target for very band language
For years, and years, and years he's been
A Railway station sandwich

Patter to slow music

To ham or not to ham? That hams the question;
To beef or not to beef - that's another silly question
Would that this too, too solid flesh would melt
And not give us indigestion.

Patter......................................................................

There was a young woman named Gurney
Took the train with her sweetheart named Ernie
They travelled a lot and quite hungry she got
And she said I'd enjoy a nice sandwich

(Ah! You thought I was going to say 'journey')

To the room for refreshment he hurried
Came back with her sandwich quite flurried
She was just going to bit when the engine took fright
And the face of the girl it looked-

Ah you thought I was going to say worried..........

Patter to the effect that the sandwich dropped out of her hand onto the line. Train goes over the sandwich and the Sandwich de-rails train.