Age of New Inventions

Includes verses about steam laundry and steamboats. [621Synopsis]


OLD folks and young all say this is the age of new inventions,
Novelties arise each day, beyond all comprehensions :
Though my song is new, I think you need not now be told, Sirs,
The tune is like my Grandmother - getting very old, Sirs.
Bow, wow, wow.
(suggested text to complete the chorus:
Fal, lal, lal, addi, addi,
Bow, wow, wow)

Every day brings something new, and John_Bull³'s throat's so wide, Sirs,
It swallows all that comes in view, and sometimes more besides, Sirs.
Rich folks are in great distress, although it may seem funny,
They really don't know what to do to get rid of their money.
Bow, wow, wow.

The Suspension Bridge across the Thames, will be a nine days' wonder ; [Note 621.1]
Surprisingly astonishing, will be the tunnel under ; [Note 621.2]
It is to be well arched, and made with solid bricks and mortar :
I never heard that any folks could live long under water!
Bow, wow, wow.

Phrenology¹ is just found out, and some folks take such pains in it, [Note 621.3]
They can tell beyond a doubt whose head has got most brains in it ;
A dead man's skull they'll handle, and poring o'er the lumps on it,
His passions well can understand, by the shape of all the bumps on it.
Bow, wow, wow.

The new sub-ways will save the job of taking all the stones up ; [Note 621.4]
Paviours¹ are against it, and are putting prayers and groans up ;
The scheme appears to me to be, as far as I have read, Sirs :
To do away with Common Sewers, and have uncommon ones instead, Sirs!
Bow, wow, wow.

The streets are now M'Adamized¹ - the plan deserves much praise, Sirs,
A proof that wicked London folks, will all soon mend their ways, Sirs :
The stones are crush'd to powder, and to make the job complete, Sirs,
They're sprinkled well with salt, to keep them clean and sweet, Sirs !
Bow, wow, wow.

A Company's establish'd, who profess to wash by steam, Sirs [Note 621.5]
Old established laundresses declare 'tis but a dream, Sirs;
With elbows in the suds, they say it surely must be stuff, Sirs,
For in the good old-fashion'd way, there was always steam enough, Sirs!
Bow, wow, wow.

Balloons are all improving fast, and with each other vie, Sirs, [Note 621.6]
In public estimation, they seem rising very high, Sirs :
For swiftness in their journies, they were never known to fail, Sirs,
They always travel post, and never go without a male, Sirs !
Bow, wow, wow.

Steam Boats are preparing to go all the way to Hingy¹, [Note 621.8]
Watering places soon will be deserted quite and dingy ;
Fashionables will not go to Margate, but incline, eh !
To spend the summer months at Madras, Bengal, or China !
Bow, wow, wow.

Another project's started, which was ne'er thought of before, Sirs :
They're going to bring the Sea up to London from the Nore¹, Sirs ! [Note 621.7]
Baths will be erected for all tanks to wash their flesh, Sirs,
Supplied by iron pipes, with salt water always fresh, Sirs !
Bow, wow, wow.

There's nothing but new plans and schemes in every body's head, Sirs :
London Bridge will be pull'd down, a new one raised instead, Sirs : [Note 621.9]
Round town, east, west, north and south, there's nought but change and movement ;
I only hope that we may not be ruin'd by improvement !
Bow, wow, wow.