What Did She Know About Railways?

Country lass comes up to town and has difficulty coping with railways.

 

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[474Notation]

A reg'lar farmer's daughter thought she'd like to come to town [Note 474.1]
But what did she know about railways?
She jumped upon the engine, the stoker¹ push'd her down
But what did she know about railways?
The guard came up and spoke to her as she stood sobbing there
Asked her if she'd a ticket, but she answer'd with a stare
Said he "you can't go up to town until you've paid your fare"
But what did she know about railways?

Chorus:  She arrived at Euston by the midnight train
                  But when she got to the wicket,
                  There someone wanted to punch her ticket
                  The guards and the porters came round her by the score
                  And she told them she'd never had her ticket punched before!

When they steamed into Euston, she said, Stop at Aunty Jane's,
But what did she know about railways?
To make her understand the porters took no end of pains
But what did she know about railways?
When she got to the barrier, and argument arose,
The man said "I must punch you ticket" spoke sharp, I suppose
Said she "Thou punch my ticket and I'll punch thee on thy nose"
But what did she know about railways?


The porters all got on to her and asked her then and there
"What do you know about railways?"
Then she pitched into the lot of them and soon their faces were
Covered all over in railways
Some police then came upon the scene and seized her "rolling stock",
Next morning twelve black-eyed porters stood by - she was in the dock,
And when the beak¹ said "fourteen days" it gave her such a shock,
She nearly fell through her railways¹.