Underground Railway, The

Hero and fiancée take ride on the new underground and are robbed.

T'other night Mary Jane, my sweetheart you know,
To Paddington having occasion to go
Said bussing is nowadays terribly slow  [Note 456.1] 
Let's go by the underground railway [Note 456.2]  
Underground by steam, I'd before never been
Such strange locomotion being more like a dream
I said Mary Jane
Oh lawks what a game
Going by the underground railway

Chorus: But Oh if a ride you would have with your bride
            Better take a cab with your girl by your side
            Than steam through a tunnel, black as a funnel [Note 456.3] 
            I mean like the underground railway

At Farringdon station we very soon got;
And here we of people found a rare lot
And crowding for tickets was work precious hot [Note 456.4] 
To go by the underground railway
While going through the swarm
I was touched on the arm
By a lady who wore on her face a sweet charm
"For Baker Street" she
Said "Pray take for me"
A ticket for the underground railway

The tickets I got and then took my Jane
The lady too followed down to the train
But somehow got parted from Jane, what a shame
As we went by the underground railway
Yet there by my side was the young lady fair
For whom I took ticket when she said oh the air
So stifling tis got
In your arms I must drop
As we go by the underground railway

There seemed no mistake, she had fainted away
And just as if dead, in my arms there she lay
Till at Baker Street the train made its stay
As we went by the underground railway
But scarce I'd got out when "all right" porters shout
And away went the train but the lights that shot out
Disclosed Mary Jane
In another's arms plain
As she went by the underground railway

So close round my neck, the lady she sticks
Said I to myself now here's a nice fix
But my way up the steps, I very soon picks,
With my load from the underground railway
The air brought her too when what met my view
But a swell gent who into a fierce passion flew
That's my wife sir, take that
And I was floored flat
At the station of the underground railway

The away in a cab they drove like a shot
Ere yet from the ground recovered I got
When I found cash and watch she stripped the whole lot
As we went by the underground railway
I to Paddington went with vengeance full bent
To blow up Jane if I met her I meant
? missing line ???
She was at the station
In a queer situation
Crying out against the underground railway

With the close stifling air my Jane had her share
'Twas no sham on her part I firmly declare
For her pocket was pick'd by the kind fellow there
While fainting in the underground railway
And of our little stock, they'd eas'd the whole lot
We'd saved to get wed when we'd a little more got
Now till more is earned,
That bliss is adjourned,
Through going by the underground railway