An Irishman travelling for Greenock to Glasgow is accused of travelling without the proper ticket. He reacts by attacking his accuser.
A Paddy once in Greenock town,
For Glasgow city he was bound,
Staring all round and round,
At length he saw the railway
Then up the stair he did repair,
And a sixpence paid down for his fare,
And with great wonder he did stare,
When he got on the railway.
Chorus: Engine, boiler, water tight,
Driving in with all his might;
Upon my soul it was a sight
To see the Greenock railway. [Note 304.1]
The ladies were all Pat's delight,
And he sat down amongst their whites;
I once was wrong, but now I'm right
This morning on the railway.
A Gent sat there with curled hair, [Note 304.2]
At Paddy he began to stare;
And said he did not pay his fare,
For that class on the railway,
Paddy's blood began to rise,
He took the spalpan(1) by surprise,
And hit him then between the eyes,
That morning on the Railway.
The people all then made a fuss,
To get the conductor in they must,
Pat told him to enter if he durst,
That morning on the railway.
But now in sight of Glasgow town,
And at the station we came down,
They looked if a Police could be found,
To drag me from the railway.
But now my shillelah(1) quick I drew,
The conductor on the ground I threw,
And then with legs so swift I flew,
And left them on the railway.
Now to the harvest I will go, [Note 304.3]
And tell them there of all I know,
I'll tell them of each friend and foe,
That I met on the railway
Then off to Ireland I'll repair,
And tell them all the wonders there,
For never a one in county Clare,
Ever saw or heard of a railway [Note 304.4]