Gravesend Steamer

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YOU'VE of a Putney party heard,
And those who Woolwich¹ joys preferr'd ; [Note 633.1]
But now I'll tell you what occurr'd
Aboard a Gravesendº Steamer. [Note 633.2]
Not like those vulgar chaps I'd be,
Wot never ventured out to sea ; [Note 633.3]
A change of air, all did agree,
Most fit and proper was for me:
So I one day, with Mrs. Brown,
Resolv'd to leave the smoky town ;
And Sunday after we went down
Aboard of a Gravesend Steamer,

Chorus:  With squalling, bawling, all the day,
                 And sighing, crying, all the way,
                 Oh ! we were anything but gay
                 Aboard a Gravesend Steamer.

That we might be at no expense,
Ve took our own provisions thence,
And that you'll own pourtray'd our sense,
Aboard a Gravesend Steamer.
But scarcely had we reach'd Blackwall¹,
When there came on a precious squall,
And that obliged us one and all
To crowd into a cabin small : [Note 633.4]
To find a seat in vain I search'd,
A score were on the table perch'd,
Who soon were floor'd-'cause we were lurch'd .
Aboard, &c.

I didn't longer there remain,
The heat was worse than all the rain,
So quickly got on deck again
Aboard a Gravesend Steamer.
I wonder'd, but I couldn't tell
Wot did the wessel so propel ;
So, looking down a kind of well,
Right thro' among the coals I fell ;
Was laugh'd and jeer'd at by the crew,
My clothes were wringing wet all through,
I was in sich a horrid stew,
Aboard, &c.

Now, Woolwich scarcely out of sight,
The vind and vaves upset me quite ;
I didn't feel exactly right
Aboard a Gravesend Steamer.
For sich a lot of eggs and ham
At breakfast I contriv'd to cram,
With rum and brandy each a dram ;
My head-oh, crickey ! how it swam :
I needed no emetic pill,
It baffled all the doctor's skill,
For, oh ! I was so shocking ill,
Aboard, &c.

I wasn't quite myself, it's clear,
Until we got to Gravesend pier, [Note 633.4]
But more disasters met here,
Aboard a Gravesend Steamer.
For crowding thro' to leave the boat.
I lost my hat and half my coat ;
My wife, who did upon me doat,
Fell overboard-but didn't float ;
The watermen soon hover'd round,
And Mrs. B- again they found,
But I grieve to say-she wasn't drown'd,
Aboard. &c.

That Mrs. B- might go on shore,
The Captain lent her, from the store,
A sailor's dress-and that she wore
To leave the Gravesend Steamer.
The town was full of wulgar boys,
And all that sober men annoys,
Next Windmill-hill our steps employs,
For that's the spot wot I enjoys.
With Mrs. B- I did condole ;
Says I, our dishes all seem whole,
But I found our wittles all were stole
Aboard, &c.

As we no place could find to let,
Off by the coach that night we set,
We were determin'd not to get
Aboard a Gravesend Steamer.
But, mark our sorrow and dismay,
When we arrived in town next day,
Our lodgers they had run away,
And left three quarters' rent to pay !
And then, to crown what we endur'd,
Our plate² some rascals had secur'd !
But to mishaps we were inur'd
On board of a, &c.