Excursion to Putney

Suggested tune  [112Notation]

It happened but the other night
I chanced to meet one Billy Vite
Said he it must be vast delight
To go upon the vater [Note 112.1]
The thought on't put me in a glow
Said I: vell Billy I think so
Our skill in rowing let us show
But where's the place you'd like to go
Says he I'm blow'd if I arn't blest
But we'll set off unto the vest
The place friend Mug that you like best
Is down by Putney¹ quarter [Note 112.2]
Splashing dashing all the way
Pulling skulling all the day
My eye, there was Old Nick(1) to pay
In our row to Putney by water

But scarcely had we reached Wauxhall [Note 112.3]
When blow me there came sich a squall
That all the women began to bawl
Vhile going to Putney by vater
At that up-rose poor Dickey Brown
Says he the fates on us do frown
So let us all return to town
If a storm comes up we must go down
Oh dear, how frightened each von looked
My arm in Vhite's vas closely hook'd
Cause to the next world ve vere booked
Vile going to Putney by vater.

Just then, vhile all vith fear did shake
The cloud above began to break
And ve found ve'd made a queer mistake
Vhile going to Putney by vater
So laughing at our little fright
Ve pulled avay vith all our might
Till a blowed steam vessel came in sight
And put us in an awkward plight
The waves they rose, we all felt ill
Our heads spun round like Brixton Mill [Note 112.4]
And all declared ve'd had our fill
Of our woyage to Putney by vater

The steamer past ve vonce more found
The vater smooth - but looking round
Ve found our boat had run aground
Vhile going to Putney by vater
Oh how ve pushed, stamped and swore
The ladies vowed twas quite a bore
But getting safe afloat once more
Ve pulled avay and reached the shore
Vhen land cargo crew and vine
Ve found a place, twas quite dewine
A filed vhere ve that day might dine
On getting to Putney by vater
Out cloth vas laid upon the grass
And down ve sat each lad and lass
Vhen vot should come but a huge jack-ass(1)
Prancing from Putney quarter

As soon as e'er he came in sight
He bolted left, he bolted right
So off we ran in terrible fright
Vhilst the Jackass wented all his spite
By rushing among the crockery
And jumping as nimbly as a fly
Vith one leg stuck in a giblet(1) pie
So away ve ran down to the vater
Now ven ve with our might and main
Ve got our wherry(1) off again
Oh lauks¹ it then began to rain
So ve vent to Putney by vater

Said Vite to Mug vhat shall ve do
The rain I'm sure ve can't go though
And see the rain begins to brew
Let's turn to the bridge at Vaterloo [Note 112.5]
Ven one of the piers or wessel met
So in the Tames ve vere all upset
And one and all got verry vet [Note 112.6]
In our row to Putney by vater
Not vishing any more to note
Ve scrambled each on board the boat
And wery soon vere safe afloat
Returning from Putney by vater

But still disaster followed thick
And ve of pleasure all grew sick
Ve vished the Jack-ass at Old Nick¹
And cursed Miss Fortune's scurvy trick
Arriving safely at the Strand [Note 112.7]
Ve leaped for joy upon the land
And never, except at your command
Vill ve journey to Putney by vater
Splashing dashing all the way
Pulling skulling all the day
My eye, there was Old Nick to pay
In our row to Putney by vater