Three Hundred Years to Come

Wild speculation about technological advances.

[Note 664.1]

664Cover.png

 [664Notation]

I

People have named this, the era of wonders,
In Ages to come, they'll look upon its blunders,
And all the improvements, philosophy crows at,
In three generations they'll turn up the nose at ;
To prove my assertion, I must not be mute, sure,
Draw up the curtain, and peep at the future,
Open your eyes and gaze with surprise,
On the wonders to come !
Though the sight may much astound you,
Mark it well and look around you!
People have named this, the era of wonders,
In Ages to come they'll be looked on as blunders,
And all we have done-cause laughter and fun,
Three hundred years to come !

II.

Horses, in those days, will not be distinguished,
But read of, as animals long since extinguished ;
Science and art, all their swiftness surpasses ;
But then, as 'tis now, there'll be no lack of Asses !
Wond'rous and vast, will be all their improvements,
Million Horse Powers and Perpetual Movements !
Open your eyes and gaze with surprise,
On the wonders to come !
Railroads, every where extending,
Though beginning-never ending!
People have named this, the era,

III

When from fatigue, folks require recreation,
On a fine summer's evening, without hesitation,
A trip they may take, to Vesuvius, or /Etna,
And finish the evening (if Lovers) at Gretna ;
If tired of the earth, they will call a balloon,
And go to a Rout², or a Ball in the Moon !
Open your eyes and gaze with surprise,
On the wonders to come!
Debtors will, (from Bailiffs² hieing,)
Call for their wings and take to flying!
People have named this, the era, &c.

IV

The North Pole to view, now no longer they tarry,
To be guided by Ross¹, or escorted by Parry¹,
With other queer things, (whoever may see 'em,)
The Pole will be placed in the British Museum!
The truth too, Astronomers quickly may come at,
For there, in a bottle, they'll preserve Halley's Cornet ! [Note 664.2]
Open your eyes and gaze with surprise,
On the wonders to come !
Parsons, who to save their flock work,
Will be wound up and preach by clock work !
People have named this, the era, &c.

V.

Ships, brave no longer the sea in commotion,
Canals, to all parts, are cut under the ocean ;
Tunnels, are made so to balance, they place ye
In one end in Europe, and you're shot out in Asia ;
To the Antipodes, if kindly invited,
By Rail Roads, they'll go, all by Gas nicely lighted !
Open your eyes and gaze with surprise,
On the wonders to come !
The use they make now of Arial Ships, is
To brighten the Sun and remove the Eclipses !
People have named this, the era, &c.

VI.

Dog's Meat Barrows will be seen unattended,
By Steam driven on and with Steam Arms appended, [Note 664.3]
One, serve the people, with judgement so true does,
And t'other a whip bears; to keep off intruders;
There's no delay, in the Chancery¹ Court now, [Note 664.4]
The Causes are all tried by Steam and are short now!
Open your eyes and gaze with surprise,
On the wonders to come !
Little Boys,.who for pleasure ride it,
Boil the kettle and get astride it !
People have named this, the era, &c.

VII

Some, on their heads, for a change will be walking;
The King's Speech, by Steam will be spoke, 'stead of talking,
The Rain, 'stead of downwards, will upwards be going,
Trees, with their Roots in the Air, will be growing;
Frosts, in July, will be sharp and remember
The Dog Days¹ will be in the depth of December !
Now shut your eyes-and think with surprise,
On the wonders to come;
If you're alive then, Heaven preserve ye!
The World will he turned Topsy Turvey!
People have named this, the era of wonders,
In Ages to come they'll be looked on as blunders,
For thus, it will be, if you live to see,
Three hundred years to come!